I keep asking myself what’s something unique and unusual that I can write about? The answer has been here allllll along.. I want to write about my actual life. I want to write about the raw moments that pass by me everyday. I want to explain the struggles of certain things that only a mother and/or father have to go through. I wanna voice my feelings, I want to voice my MY OPINIONS, MY THOUGHTS… Not about whether I think trump should be in office or not.. Or about how Bill Cosby forever changed my view on “The Cosby Show” & “Kids say the darndest things”. I loved that show though!! I just want to voice who I am and who I inspire to be. My dreams, my goals, the endless possibilities I have in life. I’ll maybe even talk about my deepest darkest fears and secrets. Who wouldn’t want to hear that?
I’m sure everyone thinks they can write. Well guess what?? I know I’m not one of America’s top 1000 bloggers, but you bet your ass I’m going to try my best! Who wouldn’t want to know everybody else’s insecurities? You would have so much leverage, so maybe I’ll just share a few! What’s a possible topic to be talked about is my childhood, and how I was brought up.That’s obviously a big part of why I am who I am and why I do what I do.
There are parts of my life that I just want to forget and throw in a black hole forever. I’ve been able to do that, but we all know it’s a temporary fix. Unfortunately, it seems like my brain never forgets those crappy memories. So, one day the black hole spits that dump of a memory right out & it never fails to be at the wrong time. Everybody has their challenges they go through in life. My challenge includes everything always happening at the wrong time. When I say that I mean it! Whenever life is going good, you know when there’s no sick children and no arguments with your significant other. I never thought of ” being jinxed” as being a real thing. Until, I realized I said “everything was going good” a few too many times. It wasn’t until about 7 months later, that had jinxed myself every single time! So if you ask how Im doing, I’ll always reply with “everything is awful!” Even if things are good!
Well, let’s sago back to this black hole! I’m always amazed when the black hole wants to take a dump randomly, even when they’re the good memories. To think a smell, a place, a thing or maybe a person had just reminded me of whatever it was. We still have to pull ourselves together and go on with life. Even if we’re depressed. We still have to get through that day even if we’re miserable on the couch not moving for multiple hours. Sit where you are silently for a minute and just think about yesterday. Think about what you did, where you went, any mistakes any regrets? If you learned something from your answers, or maybe you don’t like your response. Guess what? The only thing that even remotely matters is if you learned something from your actions, or will be able to in the future. Thinking about the past is always a big thing with me. I’ve made many mistakes, so when I look back at them most of the time I can’t even begin to believe how I’ve made the same awful mistake more than once. I hate getting down on myself , but we all do it. We can never relive that first mistake again. So in way, we think to ourselves it’s going to be different this time. For me though, it never is. Which shows me I don’t take the time to learn why I made the mistake in the god damn first time.
In the end Life is life, whether you’re purple, green, yellow, brown, blue, red, pink, magenta, black or gray. Tall, short, meaty or boney. We are all alike, we just run our lives in a different way. In the end we all wake up eat, go to work, shit, go to school, or whatever it is that we do and hopefully sleep! Then, we eat again, work some more, go home eat again, shit, and then if it’s possible relax. Before you know it you’re sleeping getting your body ready for the next day to do the same shit all over AGAIN!
My boyfriend one day while eating dinner had said “just think about all the people eating dinner right now.” That one phrase blew my mind. Seriously, because think about how many people are making and eating dinner at this very moment. Now imagine all of those people were all at one table!!!! The table would be..well extremely long. Now that I’m thinking about life. Does anyone else feel like the parts of the world you haven’t been too are invisible to you? I mean obviously besides where you live? Like, right now since I can’t picture the people in Greece, Australia, or Asia. They don’t exist to me. Not until I actually see that part of the world with my own two eyes, will I know there’s life there. History and everything in the past, is in the past. It’s just so insane to think about all of that.
I know I’m a little all over the place. Talking about different topics, but in the end they all tie into each other more or less. On the days I make sense I’m probably manic.. #Mommyproblems
Until next time my friends.. (My son is beating the door with his car he pushes around, because he wants to go (“ohh-sighhh”).. In baby language that means outside.